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Contemporary Fun Wedding

In the words of Prince John in Robin Hood: Men in Tights

Tell everyone that when the day is out we shall have had a wedding. Or a hanging. Either way, we’re gonna have a lot of fun, huh?

You don’t have to have a ceremony to have a marriage. And when you think about it, the whole thing is kind of weird, right? You’re standing on a stage, looking fancy, holding flowers, and being stared at by people who have meant something to you over the past twenty-something years. So why do we do it? We have thousands of important moments that happen throughout our lives, but this one is regarded as one so critical, we acknowledge its special status by sharing it with others. Why this moment?

Because despite all of our differences, love is what we all share. It’s the great unifier — our one universal truth. No matter who we are, where we’ve come from, what we believe, we know this one thing: love is what we’re doing right. That’s why you both are standing here. That’s why you all are here to watch them stand up here. We have all loved in our lifetimes, and in this moment, we’re reminded that the ability to love is the very best part of our humanity.

Each of us here today has our own love story. Some stories are short, others long. Some are yet unwritten, while others are just getting to the good part. There are chapters in all of our stories that are sad or disappointing — and others that are exciting and full of adventure.

The story we celebrate today – Groom & Bride’s story – begins at a softball field in the City area. He was there to play ball; she was there to watch. Both were at a change point in their lives. In one of those serendipities of romance that is hard to explain, a common friend, Name, felt that Groom and Bride would be good for each other. He decided to be a matchmaker, promising, “I’ll introduce you to each other.” Time passed. Groom began looking in the bleachers at the games. And one day, he saw her. Name was taking too much time with his introduction – or lack thereof. Groom has never liked waiting. But he isn’t exactly the walk up to a strange girl and say “Hi, I’m Groom. How ’bout a date?” kinda guy either.

Fortunately, Zuckerberg had created Facebook for just such occasions. As a result of computer savvy and social courage, Bride discovered a random message in her feed: “Hi! I’m Groom, the guy Name told you about.” A date, discovering they liked the same movies, music, – another date, and another…

And that brings G & B here, today, at this time, – to pause, to look back, to smile at all the moments that brought them here.

It is also a time to look ahead to dream of all the moments – the best moments – that are still to come.

I’m here — we’re all here — because we want those moments for you. We’re here to hope with you, to support you, to be proud of you, and to remind you that love isn’t happily ever after, love is the experience of writing your story. It’s not one moment — not even this moment. It’s every moment. Big moments like saying “I love you” for the first time, moving in together, getting engaged — but mostly a million little ones that come in between the big moments. Falling asleep next to one another, making dinner together, spending holidays with your families, binge-watching Netflix shows, getting a big hug when you get home from work… These everyday moments fuse together into one big experience.

And perhaps because this experience is so incredible, words fail us when we try to explain the mystery of it. Then, like Jack in The Nightmare Before Christmas, we have to rely on simple words, and hope that the other person feels the same.

My dearest friend, If you don’t mind, I’d like to join you by your side. Where we could gaze into the stars, and sit together, now and forever. For it is plain as anyone could see, we’re simply meant to be.

Sometimes our words come out wrong, as they did for George McFly in Back to the Future, “I’m your density. I mean, your destiny.”

And yet, trying to describe love is one of our favorite pastimes. We use the words we have – to write stories, and poems, and songs about love. And even though we describe love in different ways — and even though love can look different from one person to the next — we all know it when we see it and feel it.

Love — is meant to be felt, to be experienced… and the words often only state what we already know.

As in Star Wars when Princess Leia says to Han Solo, “I love you.”
And he responds simply, “I know.”

Vows

You fell in love by chance, but you’re here today because you made a choice. You both are choosing each other. You’ve chosen to be with someone who enhances you, who makes you think, makes you smile, and makes every day brighter. Looking back at your friendship your friends can say with Grandfather in The Princess Bride

Then one day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying ‘As you wish,’ what he meant was, ‘I love you.’ And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.

You’re about to make promises to each other that you intend to keep. You’re going to vow to take care of each other, to stand up for one another, and find happiness in the other. There’s a simple premise to each of these promises: you’re vowing to be there. You’re teaming up and saying to the other, “Every experience I am going to have, I want you to be a part of.”

Right now, we make that happen…repeat after me…

  • I, Groom, take you, Bride, as you are,
  • loving who you are now
  • and who you will become.
  • I promise to listen to you and learn from you.
  • I will dream with you, celebrate with you, and walk beside you
  • through whatever our lives may bring.
  • I promise to love you unconditionally through all of our adventures,
  • to infinity and beyond.
  • I, Bride, take you, Groom, as you are,
  • loving who you are now
  • and who you will become.
  • I promise to listen to you and learn from you.
  • I will dream with you, celebrate with you, and walk beside you
  • through whatever our lives may bring.
  • I promise to love you unconditionally through all of our adventures,
  • to infinity and beyond.

Will you, G & B, be each other’s partner from this day forward? Will you bring out the best in one another, share your happiest moments together, and love each other absolutely — for the rest of this lifetime and for whatever may come next?

G & B: I Do (in unison)

Falling in love is like owning a dog, by Taylor Mali

First of all, it’s a big responsibility,
especially in a city like New York.
So think long and hard before deciding on love.
On the other hand, love gives you a sense of security:
when you’re walking down the street late at night
and you have a leash on love
ain’t no one going to mess with you.

Because crooks and muggers think love is unpredictable.
Who knows what love could do in its own defense?

On cold winter nights, love is warm.
It lies between you and lives and breathes
and makes funny noises.

Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.
It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.

Love doesn’t like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.
It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life,
but you can never be mad at love for long.
Is love good all the time? No! No!
Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love.

Love makes messes.
Love leaves you little surprises here and there.
Love needs lots of cleaning up after.
Sometimes you just want to get love fixed.
Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of newspaper
and swat love on the nose,
not so much to cause pain,
just to let love know “Don’t you ever do that again!”

Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk.
Because love loves exercise.
It runs you around the block and leaves you panting.
It pulls you in several different directions at once,
or winds around and around you
until you’re all wound up and can’t move.

But love makes you meet people wherever you go.
People who have nothing in common but love
stop and talk to each other on the street.

Throw things away and love will bring them back,
again, and again, and again.
But most of all, love needs love, lots of it.

And in return, love loves you and never stops.

Ring exchange

OFFICIANT: You’ve both chosen to wear rings as a reminder of these promises. People often say wedding bands are a perfect circle, with no beginning and no end. But these rings did have a beginning. The stones were formed a long time ago deep with the earth. Eventually, a series of lucky events caused them to rise to the surface, where someone dug them up. Metal was then liquefied in a furnace at a thousand degrees — molded, cooled, and painstakingly polished. Something beautiful was made from raw elements.

Love is like that. It comes from humble beginnings, and through a combination of serendipity and effort, imperfect beings shape it into something extraordinary. It’s the process of making something beautiful where there was once nothing at all. As you look at these rings over the years, I hope you remember that. You’ve created something invaluable, and just as I know you’ll protect these rings, I’m confident you’ll protect the commitments you’ve made to one other today.

Groom, place the ring on Bride’s finger

May this ring be a constant reminder of the vows you have made on this day.

Bride, place the ring on Groom’s finger

May this ring be a constant reminder of the vows you have made on this day.

Toast

May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring.
May you need one another, but not out of weakness.
May you want one another, but not out of lack.
May you look for things to praise, often say, “I love you!” and take no notice of small faults.
May you have happiness, and may you find it making one another happy.
May you have love, and may you find it loving one another.

Louis de Berniere’s novel, Corelli’s Mandolin. This is a slightly edited version:

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.

In your time together, your roots have grown towards each other, and your past, present, and future will be forever intertwined.

Pronouncement

Groom & Bride, by the power vested in me by the State of Florida, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss to celebrate.

It is my great privilege to present to you for the first time, Mr. & Mrs, – Groom & BrideLastName